Summer 2009//
Breaking Points
When I break down it is not like you'd expect,
The breaking down point doesn't show or reflect.
Others barely notice the world around them, While I
Get focused.
When I break down it is not like you wanted,
You'd expect me to cry or show emotion,
Anything would do for you, but when I am sad,
I laugh.
When I break down it is not what I have wanted,
I'd expect me to lash out or withdrawel in some way,
And yet I barely less noise, but when I am mad,
I withold but tell it frankly.
When breaking points are bent in half because they are not wanted.
I hold my breathe, count to ten, lift my energy, make ammends,
Don't hold grudges, while a rollling rhythm follows me along.
When others hold all this in I fully let it out, silently page by page,
Breaking Points come out.
Never again...
Dislike, if i could stop I would
So stop telling me I should.
Bother is all i ever think about.
Maybe is another word for doubt.
But no one sees me.
No one hears me.
You talk, I talk.
Thats what the deal was.
Change this, change that.
responses would be heaven.
Some don't show up.
Some don't call back.
Some don't listen.
Some think to themselves.
I keep trying,
keep helping,
keep listening.
what do i receive in return.
Empty minds,
empty shoulders,
empty people.
If i could tell you all the times
but never again.
you'll never miss,
You'll never know,
cuz you never show.
never again,
never again,
Never again.
@2009 >=<
{New Up to Date}
//Something Without Poetry
Poetry is my incandescent light bulb.
It lights the softly painted portraits on the carverns in my heart.
Ancient and delicate, that damage even just the slight,
may cause them to become ruined overnight.
But the world is brighter, vivacious, temptacious
When I don't fall towards the black.
Without poetry there is no darknes,
Without me there is no light.
Something without poetry is just not okay.
Something without poetry is not my kinda day.
Poetry is my scarf, my boots, my raincoat, my umbrella
It is any apparel that i happen to be wearing when the weathersuddenlyhits...(sucksinair)
And causes me to be sad all day with no hope and left in dispairwaitingfor...(sucksinair)
The sunshine to poke through.
But the world is brighter, lovely, sweeter
When I don't fall towards the wind.
WIthout poetry ther is no sun,
Without me there is no rays out there.
Something without poetry is just too soon.
Something without poetry is not my kinda afternoon.
Poetry is my eclectic electric emphasis
It shows the world who i am, speaking, no
Shouting at the top of the lungs of itself.
It is like a giant elefant sitting in the room,
You cannot fake that its pressense isn't staring at you.
But the world is louder, faster, amazing
When I don't fall towards the silent,
Without poetry their is no screaming,
Without me there is no feeling.
Something without poetry is just not right.
Something without poetry is not my kinda night.
//Underneath
Underneath your smile, is a warm embrace.
Your tender laugh, lights our way.
Our hands reach, but just our cheeks touch.
As I lean on you, you lean on me.
We are perfect symmetry.
Hand in hand, heart in heart. soul by soul.
We push forward, in this caotic world
.
We are our song, my poem, your duet.
whatever sorrow fills my eyes, your their
whatever skies begin to fall, we're their,
whatever laugh starts to entangle your heart and mine,
You give me single look, the trance, i know,
Underneath your smile, is unwritten brilliance.it
//sunken
Family, sunken black circles
with rings like half circle coffee
stains, under there eyes.
They know the pain too well.
Months not days have gone by.
Some cannot make it,
plunging deep in worried fields,
The maze of the corn,
bit by bit wears thin with every year.
The locus eats the corn,
spray wears it thin,
the life you knew, they knew
The life you once had,
You held, is almost disapearing,
as the illness takes a grasp at you.
//Prisoner
Thinking surrounds me like a cocoon,
Hiding me from this world,
Surrounding me from the flooding typhoons
of this caotic, self=destructive life.
Breaking point was long ago,
take this sweet suprise of a melody,
a symphony, a poem and song,
and just let it go from me.
turn my mind off,
turn the music up,
take that poem,
from the darkest part
and let it leave,
so i don't bottle this up,
and be a prisoner in here.
//Fault Lines
can't you see what I see?
nothing about you is typical.
nothing about you can compare.
nothing can take this away.
even your faults
make me love you even more.
can't you see what I see?
under yourself, is someone else,
your hiding and i don't care.
your hiding, unusual you
from the world and i don't care.
but you can't see, can't see
the fault lines, can't see
the everything that
makes me love you,
is your fault lines,
can't you see what I see?
nothing about you is usual.
nothing about you can compare.
nothing can take this away.
even your faults
make me love you even more.
//sorry is a promise you can't keep
My exuberance is the key, the lock,
but not the door. it doesn't hold me.
It never bounds me only astounds me,
as it controls what goes in and out of my soul.
as I stare into the empty abiss.
The happiness that once thier
has fallen,its solemn,gone, down a windy road.
as if the world has stolen my only chance
My life is one of those swinging doors,
hah, too many times have I fallen for thatyour
"ooh i won't do it again", your splendid words
has stolen me, but not my soul.
the encapsulating essense of
My exuberance, the light, the whimsical,
the vivacious, sweet, intoxicating high,
is not yours, you cannot own,
My lungs fail to breathe,
just the thought of the lies that past,
i am a jumping, flying, leaping and those
so called "promises" that you keep
heaping near my door,
obviousely trying to close it,
are not weighing me down.
just making me frown.
My eyes are blue and hair is blonde,
these are facts, these are facts,
I ponder on and on, my head in clouds,
my feet planted somewhat firmly ground,
exhuberance is the lock i hold trembling to the door,
if I let myself truly be out,
Your "sorrys" and "no's" will fall directly on the floor.
//Fade
My smile it hides and conceals,
THe world I supress and feel.
It weighs all my worries,
puts them into boxes,
It hates to feel the emptyness you make me feel,
when I look at you.
//Credit Crunch
You crunched me up
Spit me out
Tossed and Turned
And I spun about.
YOu left my dry
left me to cry.
Told me to stay
But I went anyway.
YOU came down hard
Hurt my soul>
The credit crunch
Is ruining me so.
